Here I sit. Its 3:30 in the morning. I have puke on my shirt. I have both of my babies on either side of my arms. I have one sick daughter who has thrown up more times than I can count. My phone has followed me around the house every step of the way from taking her in the bathroom to get sick, to going into the kitchen to get her water and juice, to go back and forth from our bed to the bathroom to rinse out the bowl that she’s getting sick in or to get her a clean towel to wipe her face and dab her forehead to keep her cool. He held my hand the whole way. He loves his sister so much.
I can’t help but just look at her and I love how beautiful and how strong she is. Here she is weak from throwing up everything that she could have possibly consumed and yet, she still has the ability to tell me that she knows that she needs to have water to help hydrate and that everything will be okay because she knows mama has her. When we were quickly changing her clothes, the fastest most comfortable thing that I could find her is the sweetest little cotton dress that I had gotten from H&M a couple of years ago. It used to fit her down to her feet and of course now it fits her as a regular dress just above her knees. Most of her pajamas are two pieces and I couldn’t find anything but pant bottoms to save my life. So dress it was. When I put it on her, she said “I like that I get to wear a dress to bed that’s so nice Mama thank you it makes me feel really good to wear a dress”.
It’s these quiet moments in the middle of the night, that can really make you appreciate how absolutely amazing your little ones are.
Oh and also, remember my post from yesterday where it’s plain that I was looking for ways to gently encourage son to wean overnight?
Last night when I laid him down for sleep I asked him to please look at me and hear what I’m saying and I told him that I would be giving him all the milk that he wants until he falls asleep but if he wakes up in the middle of the night I will not be able to get him any milk but I can always give him cuddles and that I’ll always be here and he said okay. I said do you understand? He said yes.
Honestly I didn’t put much hope in it, because I figured he was just acknowledging what I was saying but maybe you didn’t quite understand. But, he did not try to nurse all night long until I had been up with him and his sister. At that time it was as though it was bedtime again so I went ahead and agreed to nurse him back down to sleep. I really hope that this is the turning of a new page to a new time where were are down to nursing twice a day. We will see what happens.
Also, I was just laying in bed editing this post before I submitted it to be published. As I was laying here my son peed through his diaper because he had been adjusting his pants and it adjusted his diaper. He peed not only all over me but across my stomach in into my belly button where I have an incision site healing from surgery.